In this article, I want to share some of my tips on resolving family conflicts. It can be challenging to deal with family members and the disagreements that arise between everyone. But there are ways that we can learn from each other and work things out when they come up. Read about 6 easy steps to resolve family conflicts with your in-laws. Know more about this here.
Step 1: Stop the blaming game.
The first step to resolving your differences is to stop the blame game. Instead, focus on the issue and not the person. You’ll be much more effective if you acknowledge your feelings rather than focusing on how others have wronged you. If a family member has done something hurtful or annoying, it’s easy for us to get defensive when they apologise for their behaviour–or even worse, ignore our feelings altogether! But this kind of reaction will only fuel an argument rather than resolve anything between the parties involved. So instead, if someone apologises for something they did wrong (or didn’t do), accept that apology graciously while also taking responsibility for yourself: “I appreciate your apology; however, there were some things I could have done myself differently that would have prevented this situation from arising in the first place.”
Step 2: Acknowledge your feelings.
The next step is to acknowledge your feelings. It’s not enough to recognise that you’re upset–you need to examine why. For example, are you grieving the loss of your relationship with your mother-in-law? Or do you feel she doesn’t respect or value what you do for her son? These are important questions because they will help guide how we move forward in our resolution process. The same goes for the other person: try understanding why they may feel something different from what we are experiencing ourselves. For example, maybe they genuinely want a close relationship with us but don’t know how; maybe there’s some history between them that makes it hard for them to trust us (and vice versa).
Step 3: Take responsibility for your actions and words.
The third step is to take responsibility for your actions and words. It’s essential to acknowledge your feelings, but it’s also important not to get so caught up in them that you forget the other person’s perspective. When there is a conflict between you and someone else, especially if this person has been close to you for many years, it can be easy to fall into the trap of believing that they are always wrong–and therefore, they must have done something wrong for this situation to have arisen in the first place. But no matter how angry or frustrated we might feel when dealing with these scenarios, we must remember: nobody knows exactly how their behaviour affects other people unless they are told explicitly–and even then, there may still be some confusion! So if someone tells us, “I’m feeling frustrated because…” instead of immediately jumping on our high horse as soon as possible and accusing them of being overreactive (or whatever), maybe there will be less fighting in general?
Step 4: Focus on the issue, not the person.
You need to focus on the issue, not the person.
- When you’re upset with your in-laws, it can be easy to fall into the trap of focusing on them instead of what’s going wrong in your relationship. This is especially true if you have a history of conflict with them or feel like they’ve hurt you in some way–you may find yourself saying things like “I hate my mother-in-law” or “My dad is so selfish.”
- The problem with this kind of thinking is that it makes it harder for us as humans to empathise with others and see things from another point of view–which is what we want when trying to solve problems within our families! We need our relationships with our family members (especially those who live far away) for them not only to survive but thrive as well! So instead, try thinking about things differently: Ask yourself questions like,
“What about my in-laws make me feel this way?” “Is there anything I can do to help make our relationship better?” or “How did things get to this point?”
Step 5. Be willing to ask for help.
- Be willing to ask for help.
- Remember, you are not alone in this situation. You can contact a third party, such as a friend or family member, who can provide support and perspective. Alternatively, if you don’t feel comfortable talking with someone about it yet (or at all), consider reaching out to a professional therapist or counsellor who specialises in relationships and working through your feelings together so that they don’t come out later during an argument with your spouse or parents-in-law!
Consider that you may contribute to the tension in your relationship. For example, do you say or do things that aggravate your spouse and parents-in-law? If so, think about how you can change this. For instance, if they don’t want their son dating someone who smokes cigarettes, try to quit or cut down on smoking around them to show them how much this means to you!
In family conflicts, it is essential to keep perspective and focus on resolving issues rather than blaming others.
In family conflicts, it is essential to keep perspective and focus on resolving issues rather than blaming others. It can be tempting to blame your in-laws for your problems, but this will only worsen things. Instead of focusing on who’s at fault or what someone did wrong, try thinking about how to solve the problem together.
- Don’t be defensive: If one person feels attacked by another person, they may become defensive and respond with aggression themselves. This leads to more conflict than resolving any issues at hand.
- Refrain from accusing: Accusations are never helpful when resolving problems because they appear judgmental.
- Don’t blame: Blaming someone else for something that happened doesn’t help anyone figure out what went wrong or how things could have been prevented in the future.
Family disputes are difficult to resolve, but there are ways to do so. If you have any questions about how to handle family conflicts with your in-laws, please feel free to contact me. I would love to help! Click on this link for more resources.